Hurts Like Brand New Shoes

I understand what Sade is singing about now. I think my new shoes really contributed to me having somewhat of a bad day.

I took way too long getting ready to leave my hotel room. Just trying to get organized which seems to be the story of my life these days. I cannot wait to be settled down again in my own apartment with everything unpacked and everything in its place. This homeless life doesn’t really sit well with me. I’m not afraid of adventure and change, but I also crave some stability and structure too. I’ve realized how important having my own space, no matter how small and humble it is, that I keep my own way is crucial to my happiness and positive state of mind.

At 3pm I was out the door in search of food. The place I wanted to try was closed for renovation (something typical this time of year in PV before the high season [temporada alta] kicks in). So I went to Planet@ Veget@riano because I was starving. I figured it was ok to spend $6.50 for an all you can eat buffet. The food as usual was amazing.

Later I shopped for breakfast and lunch groceries at R!zo, one of the pricier but more convenient supermarkets. My feet were killing me and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed trying to decide what to buy and realizing I didn’t bring enough pesos (fortunately they accept dollars and credit cards). I realized I needed to buy a plate, a bowl, and a glass. This also made me realize that I have nothing like that to set up an apartment and it could end up costing me a lot of money to do that. I looked at a simple crappy little skillet and it was almost $20. I thought longingly of those pots and pans I took out of my suitcase as the last minute because I had to get the bags down to 70 lbs apiece. The food I bought is cheap compared to eating out but not so much cheaper than the US which was also a bit depressing.

I got home, unpacked, and realized I needed to leave right away for an insurance seminar. Fortunately I’d changed into more comfortable shoes but this seminar made me have a little freak out because I don’t have health insurance. I had visions of needing to get my appendix out (like what happened to the speaker) and not even knowing how to call a doctor. I really hate that insurance plays on fear (just like the Jehovah’s Witnesses) and it’s easy to get caught up in it. I know I need to figure out something with insurance…or do I? Anyway, I met up with my cantankerous friend JR and some people from the yahoo group as well as my friend Ul!ses who I also met last time. Both JR and Ul!ses managed to get me back to feeling a bit better about things. JR said, “I’m 65, if I die tomorrow, that’s ok; I’ve had a good life.” This is why I like him.

I went for a drink with Ul!ses and then we went and got tamales and cornbread from a woman who sells it on the corner of Insurgentes and Serdan near the movie theater just south of the river. We talked about how foreigners are very oriented towards knowing street names and giving directions that way, while Mexxicans are more about landmarks and using them for directions. The tamales were great; apparently that woman is known all around and has been setting up on that corner every evening for years. I hope she will be my new friend; I love tamales! U also showed me a spot near the Farmacia that has vegetarian quesadillas. I had told him that I longingly look at the street food vendors and their happy customers but it’s usually meat and I felt a little left out. I’m really excited to try the quesadillas! Ulises has lived here all his life (how many years is that really?) so he’s really helpful in telling me about things.

I guess the evening ended on a good note. But I realized that this move is not going to be an easy one. It’s hard to move in general, even within town. Add moving out of town to a place where you don’t know anyone or where anything is (like my move to R0chester) and it’s that much harder. Add moving to another country where you have to figure out simple things and you’re not fluent in the language, and it’s that much harder. Add not being with anyone or not having a job – well, you get the idea. But luckily when I woke up on Day 3 and the sun was shining and there was a breeze blowing the coconut tree outside my window, I felt like “This move is not going to crush me. I am strong and I will figure it all out. It’s going to take time and I will probably make mistakes along the way. It will take time for me to truly connect and make deep lasting friendships with people but I’ve done it before in both R0chester and B@ngkok.