Relief

I still haven't gotten used to life as a freelancer. I can say "I am a business owner", but the reality is that I rely on others to hire me for work and I have little control over that. It's worked out pretty well so far, but all along the way there have been times when I don't have many or even any jobs booked. I get inquiries on a regular basis which is nice, but I have been going through a scary lull in terms of actually booking future clients. But I took a leap of faith and booked my trip to the convention in Veg@s and bought the new equipment despite no concrete prospects of future income. Yikes!

So I'm really happy to report that today I received a retainer and contract from a couple who will be getting married in October. Yay! And it's great enough to book a job, any job, but this one is extra special. This couple is getting married in Pl@ya del C@rmen which is a town on Mexxico's east coast, just south of C@ncun. I'm very excited because I've never been to that part of the country. It's supposed to be beautiful with postcard-perfect beaches with white sand and the beautiful clear water of the C@ribbe@n. I used to wonder if it made more sense to live over on that side of Mexxico because it's much closer to eNYC. There are direct flights and they're much cheaper than flying to Va11arta. But the more people I talk to over the past couple of years being down here, the more it sounds like it's too touristy and too expensive and too humid...and there's always the hurricane season which actually lasts until November. Nonetheless, I'm really excited to check it out. Ideally I will extend the trip to at least a week so I can really explore a bit.

One of my personal goals for the trip is to go scuba diving. I was certified to dive in 2002 after taking a course in eNYC and then doing my open water dives in the D0minican Republ1c. But sadly I haven't kept up with it. You can actually dive here in Va11arta, so maybe my interim goal should be to take a refresher course here and get a dive in before I leave for the summer.

I also had a business meeting via phone tonight in hopes of booking a wedding back in the eNYC area at the end of June. I really want that job too because then it will serve as my other bookend. The Playa job is the first job back in Mexxico at the end of what I hope will be a great summer in eNYC; it will bring me back to Mexxico. The other job will be the first job back in eNYC which I hope will kick off that great summer. I'm so nervous, partially because the eNYC area job will present some challenges and take me a bit outside my current comfort zone of how I'm used to shooting weddings here. But I have to just remember that I've felt this way before (fearful) before certain jobs and they always turn out fine.

One of the most memorable speakers I saw at the WPP1 convention was a photographer named C@therine Hall. She spoke about having fear and confronting that fear. It wasn't even what she said that was so profound, but just discussing it really spoke to me. I think from the outside, it can seem that I'm sort of fearless and always face the world and do what I want. But those who know me best, know that I can be very insecure and worry about things. I'm so thankful to have really supportive friends (especially some of you who read my blog and let me know you're reading either by commenting here or emailing me) who encourage me to be me and surmount my fears and follow my dreams.

Here's one of my club friends Victor following his dream. I have a big crush on him even though he's gay. And I'm used to seeing him as a cute gay boy with gelled spiky hair, no shirt, and cute stylish jeans. But then the night before I left for Veg@s, this woman said hello to me and asked if I recognized her. I was blown away and still feel that way; such a shock because Victor is such a cute boy, yet he's a pretty woman too.

Ah life, you never know what next!