Awkward

Last night I went to a full moon party at I. and U’s house. They’re a couple I met online through Tribe.net back in the fall and they moved down here from Washington State in late November or early December. The crazy thing was we hadn’t seen each other since that day we first met. People get busy, even here in sleepy V@llarta.

I was really excited about this party. It’s the first party I’d been invited to and I. and U. are professional acrobats and performance artists so I figured they’d know cool and interesting people and it would be the type of party I’ve been wanting to go to. I’ve been feeling a bit constricted lately with the conservative and uncreative environment here.


They rent a great house that has amazing views of the Bay. They’re in their 20s and artsy so it’s about 5 people sharing a place. Some of the bedrooms you have to walk through to get to other rooms or the terrace. But it’s such a great space; I aspire to be able to live with people and have more opportunity for a bigger, cooler space that you get when you can share the rent. Their rent is $1000 USD but split between several people is pretty reasonable.


The crowd was definitely interesting. There was a woman from Guadalajara with a son about 5 who talked a lot with her friend from Columbia who was married to a guy from Barcelona. They have a daughter about 5 too who was dressed up in a Snow White costume. The Barcelona husband performed the most amazing magic tricks and they were traveling around the world; he would perform magic and she was making a documentary about how people respond to magic and their different magic/religious practices. There were African drum drummers who I didn’t speak to along with a woman who spun fire. I. and U. did a cool performances with silk ropes suspended from really high. They had 2 friends in skintight zebra costumes who did amazing acrobat work together; their strength and balancing ability made me gasp “Wow!” several times. (It turned out that I recognized the woman as one of the dancers from the benefit for the orphanage that I had photographed. Once again, V@llarta is a small world!) I argued (good naturedly?) with an older guy from Washington State who lived in V@llarta half the year but was a fisherman in Alaska during the other half.

It’s funny because as I write this now, it seems like “Wow, I went to a party and met all these cool people” but really my feeling was that I had a really hard time socializing there. There weren’t a ton of people and the space was large and multi-leveled so it didn’t encourage interaction. Many people spoke English and Spanish but I felt like I should try to speak more Spanish and not assume people spoke English, yet I realized I don’t really know how to socialize here. I guess I was just being self-conscious and a little shy. And Jack was probably not helping the matter. Also, I was the only one who came alone and even some of the people who came with people already knew other people there. It’s not that people were unfriendly, but they also weren’t overly friendly.

I guess what it comes down to is that I’m still looking for my niche here. I have lots of acquaintances and the start of friendships but I don’t have deep close friends who make me feel at home. I also still struggle with how I feel about living here in V@llarta because it is such an expensive, touristy town. When a guy at the party told me I could get an apartment in a cool neighborhood in Mexxico City for what I’m paying now or less, I started wondering once again if I should try living there. It’s not like I hate it here and want to leave right away but we’re all starting to talk about what will happen after May when the tourist season passes and it gets hot here. I’m just going to see how the next month or so goes and then I will know more.