Cultural Differences

This has become a catch phrase that M. and I often use ever since my neighbor got upset with me about taking care of the cats and said it was due to “cultural differences”.

It’s interesting living here with M. because we are both from very different cultures (he grew up in China) and here we are both living in a culture different to both of us. It works to bond us together when things happen that seem illogical. Often times, we just shake our heads and laugh and say, “It must be a cultural difference.”

I’ve been trying to make a plan to go back to the US for a visit. But it was all dependent on getting someone to take care of the cats. I posted on 2 online, expat forums and got one response, but she eventually flaked out. I went to a couple of local vets and one suggested their cleaning lady might do it. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a stranger because it was enough of a problem when it was people I knew. But then M. suggested a woman who lives on the block who has a family. I had spoken to her a couple of times in the past because she also works at her family’s laundry on the next block and is a big animal lover and feeds neighborhood strays. We talked when Chester went missing and she was very sympathetic. Seemed like a good option.

So 2 days ago I called her and made an appointment to talk with her at her house. We sat on her terrace and her 3 boys were buzzing around us the whole time. I’d guess they’re about 5, 8 and 11 or so and I’d seen them playing in the street before with other kids, but never knew they were all brothers. They are really into animals and were very excited to show me their fish, parrots, and puppies. But when I went to see the parrots, I saw there were 3 in a smallish cage and it didn’t seem very nice. And then I saw one boy pick up a puppy by the front paws and throw him on the couch.

This is where cultural differences come in. And the problem lies in the fact that I am not just your average American. I am a neurotic American pet owner who’s also a big animal rights proponent. I’d have differences of opinion with many of my fellow Americans on how animals should be treated. So forget about seeing eye to eye with the majority of people in Mexico. But I’m trying to be a little more relaxed and be positive that cats are tough animals and it will only be 2 weeks and she seems like she has a good heart and I’m paying her.

She was supposed to come over yesterday but when I called her to confirm, she told me she was busy and could we meet on Sunday? It left me worried that maybe it was her polite/Mexican way of telling me she didn’t want to do it. I’m getting better at reading these things. Like when she said she wanted to meet the next day because she was busy at 7:30 the previous night, I asked if maybe 7:00 would work but quickly said “Or maybe not? Maybe tomorrow is really better?” Because when pressed, people will commit to something they don’t want to do in order to avoid confrontation. This I have learned and that you can’t press people too much or it will happen.

When I called her today, she wasn’t home and I once again thought she was giving me the blow off. But then I tried her later on her cell and she was apologetic and said she was at the grocery store. When she finally did come over, she apologized profusely and I assured her it was fine, that I was just working at home. It made me feel like I’m starting to get the hang of the culture here.

I showed her where everything is and explained it all and showed her the rules and told her they were not meant to insult her but to be clear. And that I want her to call me every day to tell me things are ok. I’m still nervous but I think I have to let go.

So I’ll be in the States from 9/18 till 10/3. I have mixed feelings…but I think that’s another blog entry.