Doing the Right Thing

Last week I decided I needed to file a missing person's report for J0nathan. I'd been hesitant to do it at first because it means having my name on a document which may be a public record. But as time passed and I read more cases about kidnapped and disappeared people, I saw that families often did make reports. I figured that as long as it was just a report with no details about the activities of the drug business, I should be ok.

On Thursday I went online looking for a phone number and/or address for the office where I'd need to go. Nobody answered the numbers I found, but I figured it might be because they were closed for lunch which is pretty typical here. I called back after 4pm and didn't get a hold of anyone until 4:30pm and the person who answered informed me I had the wrong number but he gave me the right one. I called that number and confirmed it was the office I needed to go to, but he informed me that they closed at 5pm and I'd have to wait until the next day.

I still don't fully understand the system here. But it appears that the police are mostly involved in emergencies and transit problems. If you want to report a crime, you need to speak with the Ministerio Publico which is a state office and part of the justice department. They take complaints and file the appropriate paperwork. A complaint is called a "denuncia".

I arrived at about 3:45pm and went upstairs to a loft type of space that had a waiting area and various cubicles. There were cardboard boxes of files stacked all over the place and everything looked old and rundown. It reminded me a lot of the first office I worked in at @IG! As might be expected, it wasn't clear where I was supposed to go so I wandered around a bit and asked someone who told me I needed to wait for the person (the licenciada) to get back and that I should take a seat. The licenciada came back, but once the other person who'd been waiting was finished, another woman with 2 kids came up and cut ahead of me and sat down to be attended to. I waited patiently until she finished and I was called. I explained the situation and she listened, but at the end informed me that I needed to come back another time because it would take an hour to do the denuncia and they were going to close in half an hour. I tried to protest that it was far away but she insisted so I left.

Being the small town it is, I ran into someone I know from the club. Her motorscooter had been stolen so she was there to report that and try to get it back. She asked why I was there and in retrospect, I should have just blown her off but I'm just too damned open and honest and told her I was there to report J0nathan's disappearance. I told her I was in contact with his brother and since he was in the US and couldn't do it, I was there to do it for him. Which is true but I said this to downplay my involvement.

The next day (Saturday) they were open until 1pm so I made sure to get there by 11:30 to have enough time. There was another family waiting and then another young guy who had his cell phone stolen came in after me. The person in charge asked me what I was there for and I told her, but was uncomfortable reciting my story with other people around listening, especially when she asked what J did for a living. She instructed me to wait for someone to be able to take my info, but then instructed the young guy who came after me to go with a guy to give his info. She attended to the family and when she was done, I assumed she'd come for me. But once again, some lady with a kid cut ahead. I let her talk for awhile, but time was ticking and I interrupted and explained how yesterday I'd waited there and someone cut ahead of me and how today the same thing appeared to be happening and it was getting late and I didn't want them to close. I'm glad I said something because she then directed me to another cubicle area where someone could take down my info.

The whole situation was such a stereotype of Mexxican government bureaucracy. The woman who was supposed to help me moved like a slow turtle. At first, she didn't even turn her head to speak to me and spoke in a low voice at her computer; she was definitely effective at making me feel like I was interrupting her. I could barely understand her and asked her to repeat herself. She misinterpreted this as me not being able to understand Spanish which pissed me off so I told her I could understand her better if I could see her lips when she spoke and that she had a low voice. This seemed to annoy her a little bit, but she at least listened and turned around to speak to me. She asked me a series of questions of how I knew J. and where he was from and how old I was, my address, where I was from, what I did for work, etc. She then disappeared without explanation for about 15 minutes, giving no explanation when she came back. She then pulled out a form for missing persons and filled that out and asked me the same questions a second time. Both times she appeared to be typing the information into her computer. Finally she printed out a form in quadruplicate (actually it took her 3 times to print it out properly and the first two times she tore it up and threw it into the trashcan that was overflowing onto the floor) that she had me sign front and back. I gave her the four copies I had made of a flyer of photos of J. (pictured above), a description, and my CT driver's license. She then told me that was it as a way of dismissing me. I asked what would happen next and she said they had my number and that the police would contact me if they needed to. I asked if I would get a copy of the report and she said no. I asked if there was any reference number for the report and she reluctantly wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper.

The whole experience made me think that no one really cares and nothing will be done. But I feel good that at least an official report exists. It's like that saying about a tree falling in the forest and no one hearing it. If there wasn't an official report, it would be like he disappeared and no one cared and there wasn't any possibility in the world that anything would be done. I'm hoping at least if they find a body or someone confesses to something, a connection will be made and we might get information and closure.

People have asked me, "Why you?". As I mentioned, his brother lives illegally in the US and can't do it. His father and other family live across the country in Ver@cruz and don't have the means to come here. @lejandro is still in Mexxico City and will probably stay there because he's apprehensive about what might happen to him if he comes back. J's C0urtney L0ve girlfriend doesn't have ID. His other good friend is too close to the situation and fears for his own safety. Which leaves me. And I couldn't not do it.

So now I am trying to just put it out of my mind. I know I can't do anything more. Well I can, but I really shouldn't because it's too much potential to be dangerous. It's taken a toll on my health as evidenced in my recent diagnosis of gastritis and the burning feeling I get in my stomach when I think about the situation. Part of me still doesn't accept he's dead and hopes a miracle will occur. Anything is possible, right?