I can’t believe I’ve been back in the States for 2 weeks now. Am I enjoying myself? Right now I feel stress more than anything. I feel like there’s not enough time to see everyone and get everything done that I want to get done. It’s been frustrating not having a cellphone and not having regular DSL Internet access and not having a home here. I appreciate the friends (and mom) who’ve put me up in their apartments and let me use their cellphones and computers. And I have really enjoyed spending time with friends, eating wonderful food, and seeing my cats. But as usual, it’s hard for me to enjoy life when I feel I’m not getting things done. Which leads me to the title of this blog entry.

I usually come up with New Year’s Resolutions that are more like New Year’s Goals. This is what I came up with this year:

1. Volunteer. To develop more of a connection with Puerto Vallarta and feel like my presence there is helpful and useful to someone.

2. Talk to my neighbors. There are some really cute kids on my block as well as a little old lady who regularly sits in her doorway doing needlework. We usually say hi and smile but I’ve never stopped to talk to her. It would be nice to have more of a connection with my neighbors.

3. Build a food repertoire. I’ve learned that I relied a lot on prepared foods in NYC; I’d like to be able to use simple ingredients to come up with my own tasty and nourishing food.

4. Have guests over for dinner. It would encourage me to cook and would be a nice way to deepen friendships with people. And since the cats will be moving down, it will be nice to have people over for Chester to socialize with.

5. Try a new restaurant at least once a month. There are many well-regarded restaurants in Puerto Vallarta. They aren’t cheap so I can’t eat at them regularly but I could at least try them once and maybe find some good food from time to time to supplement my own food repertoire.

6. Blog regularly. It’s good for me to reflect on my experiences and I enjoy writing. Like anything, with practice you improve and I’d like to be a better writer.

7. Read. Either in Spanish or English. It’s a good way to slow down and relax too. I enjoy reading so why don’t I do it?

8. Meditation. I was lucky that my friend Helena told me about the Tibet House (at 22 W. 15th Street between 5th and 6th Avenue) that holds beginner meditation classes on Tuesday nights at 7pm. I went this week and really enjoyed it and hope to get into a regular practice.

9. Stretch. I feel the older I get, the more important this is. I feel that genetically I’m very inflexible so I need to really work on this.

10. Cardio. I used to feel so great when I was running and swimming and biking. Yesterday I ran 2 miles in Prospect Park and felt amazing. (But today I’m so sore!) I hadn’t run in 3 months and had to reassure myself that at one point I ran 11 miles in a snowstorm in Prospect Park with my friend Julie (“we are hardcore, we are hardcore!”). I wonder if the lack of cardio has made me feel more tired than usual.

11. Website. I can’t put this off any longer. I need this to be a true professional photographer.

So those are my goals for the New Year. But today I realized I need to add 2 more:

1. Be more forgiving of myself. I know I can sometimes come across as a harsh, critical bitch. But please know that I often direct that energy towards myself. I often focus on what I’m not, and what I’m not doing, and what I should be doing instead of feeling good about the things I accomplish. The next goal is an extension of this.

2. Enjoy the journey as much as the destination. I have all these goals but I need to know that it’s also ok to have days that I’m not working toward doing something and just relax and enjoy the small things in life. I need to know that everything will work out and I shouldn’t stress out.