Passing Phase or Am I Done?

I've been back in Mexico for a week and I can't seem to shake the lethargic blah feeling I have. I'm trying to stay open and in touch with what I'm feeling and figure out what's going on.

Part of it is the weather. Finally last night we had a tiny bit of rain, but before that it hadn't rained for nearly 2 weeks. We are experiencing the hottest weather of the year right now with temperatures in the 90s and horrible humidity. Once again when I was on the bus yesterday, I saw the sweat forming on people while others kept trying to mop it away with a towel or washcloth. Yes, it's October and it's still like this.

So any plan I had to try to exercise more or get out more once I got back from NYC has been put on hold because I truly do not want to go outside away from my ceiling fans.

When I was in NYC, I walked around a lot and kept thinking what a great and amazing place it was. The subway, the food, the architecture, the human diversity, the availability of goods, the sheer magnitude of the place and all the work that went into building all the bridges and buildings. I come back here and I keep thinking of ways I wish it would change, how ugly the architecture is (especially the hotels and condos), how I wish they'd improve the buses, improve the roads, have more restaurants I could eat at without paying a fortune, how I wish I'd meet people who'd inspire me.

I don't know if I just need to adjust again to being here or if I'm really feeling like I'm done with Puerto Vallarta and Mexico. A lot of it really does come down to food. Staying in Flushing and having that diversity of vegetarian food satisfied me on both a physical and mental level. And the lack of it here also causes me to feel that something is missing on both of those levels. I don't know if I can ever be happy in a country that is so obsessed with meat. If I were to live abroad, it seems Asia would be more in line with my being.

M. is talking about moving back to China next year and I'm seriously thinking of at least making a long trip over there to check it out. It's all very preliminary but I am starting to feel a shift in that direction. We'll see how it goes.