Destiny

Earlier this evening I was coming back from the vet on the bus and had about an hour to kill before meeting with the couple who are getting married on Saturday. I debated going home but then the bus pulled by the restaurant owned by the couple who had lived in Pl@ya del C@rmen so I thought I'd stop by and talk with them more about their experiences.

I hadn't spoken to either of them in several months and back then they had said they were happy they had moved to Va11arta, that it was better here. But when I started talking to the boyfriend today, he said they've decided to move back there about the same time I might move back! They decided it was a better place for their business (a fusion Asian-Mexxican cafe/restaurant). That the tourists who went to Pl@ya have more money to spend and are more open to their food. We talked for awhile about how it has a younger, hipper, European vibe. And how the economy there is great because it's not solely tied to the American economy because it's a more international group that goes there. They both seemed to think that there's a lot of potential for my business there, for business in general. And they said that rents are the same as here (they quoted $500 per month for a one bedroom place which is more than I'm paying now but not too much more.).

I left them feeling sort of strange. Part of me really does not want to move, to start over again, to pack it all up. I just did that and it's not a fun process. So in a way, I had almost hoped they would tell me all kinds of things that might make me reconsider. But so far, no one has said anything that has made me question the idea. It gives me a strange sort of feeling, like it's my destiny and fate and almost like there's nothing I can do about it. Of course, it's my decision to make, but really it seems like there's not much reason not to. Only that it will be a bunch of hard work to make it happen. And truthfully, I feel quite lazy. I feel tired and I don't want to work hard. I'm hoping that's just the weather and that with several months of non-humid weather(we're still waiting for it to change any day), I might actually have a little more energy to do stuff.

The problem with moving again too is that it's a strange way to live life because it can prevent you from doing things. I had really wanted to get kitchen cabinets made to make my space even more livable, but if I know I'm moving in less than a year, it doesn't seem like I should spend the money. That's just one small example, but it's emblematic of the way you live your life when you don't think things are permanent.

I'm not in a rush. I don't plan to make it happen till at least the end of next May. I want to make another trip over there to further investigate and see how it all feels. And I need to get a little more serious about my business and think about advertising and raising my prices. I just hesitated a bit in responding to a client and they went ahead and booked with someone else. I don't fully blame myself because the email said they booked someone several days ago when in fact they were inquiring with me several days ago, but it did highlight how I need to be really on the ball.

I find life so strange. Things never seem to happen at the pace I expect or want. I'd been wanting to visit that part of Mexico since I came here to live, wondering if it was better than here and if this was the place I should be. On one hand, I think it's bad that it took so long for it to happen. I start to wonder if I wasted time. But since I do know that things happen at their own pace, I think that maybe I wouldn't have like it over there before. Maybe by living here this long and experiencing all I have, it's made me appreciate the potential for living there. But now that I have visited and have decided I'll probably move, it all feels like it's happening really fast. I felt within a few hours of being there that I liked the place and within a day was thinking about living there. The guy I met from England who was visiting there thought I was being so impulsive: "What? You just got here yesterday and you've decided to move here?" I think I just know when something's right. You can't force it, you can't push it. It just comes your way and you know.