Party

Last Tuesday marked my 3 year anniversary of moving here to Mexxico. And last night I threw my first party. Such a different life I have here. In eNYC, I had big parties several times a year as well as smaller gatherings of people. But for various reasons (not knowing enough people, not having enough money, not having a big enough space), I hadn't had a party here.

But my friend Pi1ar was coming to town from El Lay and wanted to get together the group who'd been the committee for the contemporary art festival last spring. I didn't feel up for hostessing a full-on dinner party so it was supposed to be a potluck. But I ended up making a big dish of vegan lasagna and people brought all kinds of yummy foods (cheeses and breads and a bruschetta topping made with strawberries in addition to the usual tomatoes, tabbouleh and jocoque, brownies and chocolates, etc). It ended up being 11 of us, everyone either an artist or with some interest in art. It was fun although throwing a party is never as fun as attending one because you need to make sure everything is ok and I end up cleaning up behind people all night so there's not a total mess at the end.

I felt it was a big success. People stayed till about 3am and I pretty much had everything that I needed to entertain. At one point when someone asked for a platter to put some fruit and cheese on and I reached down into my cabinets to get one, I thought "Pretty good for someone who came here a few years ago with just 2 suitcases and no job."

My lasagna turned out really well and in addition to the big baking dish I used to make it in, I also bought a pie pan and hope to make a vegetable pot pie. So I'm feeling more encouraged to cook which will make my life better. And I think I would be happier if I entertained more. I still feel a bit alienated here, like I don't have any deep friendships, but it does take effort.

I'm trying to focus on the positive, but really I've been feeling a bit down and lost. I just don't know what I want to be doing with my life and I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything. I don't go out as much as a I used to so I feel more isolated. And consequently, I've barely been photographing. I know this is just another phase of life that will lead to other things, but right now I feel sort of stuck. I'm trying to just relax and let things work themselves out in their own time and realize things happen for a reason and that will eventually be evident.