Alone Again, Naturally

Geez, I never really knew the words to that Gi1bert O'Sullivan song "A1one Again (Naturally)". I thought it summed up how I was feeling, but really only the chorus. Here's the video in case you forgot (or never knew) the song. I'm pretty down, but do not feel like climbing to the top of a tower and throwing myself off!

Che$ter had shown some signs of improvement over the course of the last 2 weeks. But he's taken another turn for the worse. He hasn't eaten since the day before yesterday and has lost most control of his sphincter which the vet had told me is a very serious sign of deteriorating health.

Earlier today I had sort of made the decision to put him to sleep. I called the vet and asked if he could come to the apartment. He said he could after 5pm if I called him before 2pm. It was around 12:30 so I told him I'd think about it more and call him back. But when I called back right before 2, the phone was busy. I tried and tried and by the time I finally got through, only the machine picked up. I tried calling later but still got the machine and the emergency number listed on their website says it's outside the area of service.

So here I sit on New Year's Eve. Che$ter is in one of his cat beds in the bedroom where it's the most quiet. I was supposed to go to Cafe C@ndela with Pi1ar for dinner and to see our friend perform, but I dread going out and being around happy people when I feel so down. It might make me feel better, but it also might make me feel worse. I feel like I'm in a sort of limbo.

I'm going to wait until just after midnight and see how things are in the 'hood (it was nuts here on Xmas Eve with so many people having super loud parties all night long) and then see how I feel.